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By Jill Greenwood

There reaches a point in everyone’s life when they decide that they need to “declutter” just a bit. Lord knows I’ve reached that point probably a thousand times in my life, and I’m usually successful for about nine months. In the span of time that it takes to bring a baby into this world, I backslide into my clutter loving ways and am contemplating taking a vow of poverty. Get disgusted by the clutter and shit, decide to make a change, and repeat the cycle. So far, all of the lovely ladies here on O + U have talked about things that irritate them when others do it . . . I’m talking about something that I do to irritate myself.

Take notebooks, for example. I love them. I loathe them. Two years ago, I took about 30 to school and vowed, just like Scarlet O’Hara, that as God as my witness, I would never, ever purchase a frivolous notebook unless I had a specific purpose. Ooooh, stone paper! I need that. Followed by But that Japanese inspired print is just so adorable. And then we had Seriously, those Hunger Gamescomposition books are the best. And before you know it, I was back up to 30 notebooks. Trust me, no one needs 30 notebooks. No one.

I could just list the shit that I’ve bought at Target because it was “reasonably priced” on clearance: beaded garland, socks, ironic t-shirts, cute plates, phone covers, travel lotions, rulers, cheap make-up, lip gloss, water bottles, toys. For the love of god and all that is holy, I have no reason to look at let alone own four boxes of the Shabby Chic beaded garland . . . no one does. Not a single person in this world.

I’m not sure when I’m due for another decluttering because I’m long past the decluttering date. Judging by the purses and blankets and shit in my attic, that ship sailed two years ago. A garage sale is a possibility, but then again calling 1-800-GOT-JUNK would work just as well for me. It’s time to come clean y’all. time to purge and get the attic clutter cleared away so I can see the carpet. But I’d feel a whole lot better if you let me know that I’m not alone. Got any clutter you need to get off your chest?

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  1. September 12, 2012

    That sounds like me right down to the notebooks!

    • Jill #
      September 12, 2012

      Best thing ever . . . nearly bought ANOTHER NOTEBOOK today at our book fair because it was Hunger Games themed. I need a 12-step program!

  2. September 12, 2012

    yep! been there. just a few months ago while moving i swore NOT TO MOVE ANY BOX i did not need, want, or that had sat unopened in our basement since our LAST move! seriously we moved boxes and never opened them? WTF?!?! the rest of my house usually looks fine, but a “enter at your own risk / closet hoarder” sign should have been posted on my basement door! UGH! so much crap. i think we successfully purged a lot. hubby had a harder time than i did. trouble is i then hit target or goodwill and come home with more. luckily we no longer have a basement so that might help keep me and our stuff in check. maybe.

    • Jill #
      September 12, 2012

      I think I might have boxes upstairs that haven’t been unpacked when we moved 13 years ago . . . 13 YEARS AGO! I’ve been better with Target, but they are my downfall. It’s like Brokeback Mountain with them. I tried to quit you!

  3. September 12, 2012

    The best thing I ever did to declutter my house is stop shopping unless absolutely necessary. I especially avoid Target like the plague. LOL!

    • Jill #
      September 12, 2012

      I’m really good for long stints, but then I just get sucked back in. Think of Michael Corleone in The Godfather (three, maybe?) or the whole Brokeback Mountain scene where they try to quit each other (but without the man-on-man action . . . because I’m a chick).

  4. Laura Yurs #
    September 12, 2012

    LOL! You are not alone!!!! The state of my external hard drive alone can make me weep! Yes we have closets and attic space and basement space that needs cleaned out in the worst way. And I feel like I just did it….yuck. If we lived closer, we could drink beer, eat pie, and make this much more enjoyable! Reason #742 for commune living!

    • Jill #
      September 12, 2012

      Dave just doesn’t “get” the whole commune living thing. But I’m thinking if he had pies and desserts more often, he’d get with the program.

  5. September 12, 2012

    My room basically looks like an explosion went off. Need to declutter so bad.

    • Jill #
      September 12, 2012

      I honestly think that running away is a better option some days.

      • September 13, 2012

        I’ve been running away from it for about a month now. And currently have no time to even think about tackling the project. (or i’m not letting myself make time. whatever) I have even slept in the living room the past few nights, mainly because my roommate is going through a tough breakup and doesn’t want to sleep alone. also because i don’t even have the energy to throw all the shit on my bed onto the floor.

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