During the week, my alarm goes off about 4:45 AM. Sure, I hit snooze one, maybe two times. In the past, I’ve been known set the alarm on Dave’s dresser, the alarm on my phone, and possibly a back-up to the one on my phone. Hell, for a while, I used a math alarm clock, which forced me to solve various math problems in order to shut off the alarm. You try figuring out what (7×9)+23 with an alarm blaring only to solve it wrong and start all over from scratch. It’s truly a wonder that I didn’t chuck the fucking phone against the wall the first time I tried to solve one with exponents.And after I’m awake, it’s the same cycle weekday in, weekday out.

But weekends? Weekends mean no alarms unless I’m desperate. They allow me to wake up the way that I want, which is with my head firmly resting on Dave’s shoulder. Usually I leave an ear print . . . or drool . . . or both. The beauty is Dave just lets me sleep instead of pushing me off or rolling over. And he never goes back to sleep himself. At this point, my sleep is only broken by one thing: the cat.

See, the thing is a cat is even more of a creature of habit than I am. Like it or not, I’m up and downstairs Monday through Friday by 6 AM. And because of that, the cat is fed about 6:15 AM. But on the weekends, she’s getting pissed about 6:30 AM, and if she’s not fed by 7 AM, all shit will hit the fan. Imagine peacefully slumbering, snuggled next to the man you love, in the middle of a good dream usually involving Matt Damon, knitting, and winning the lottery . . . perfect, right? Then, the cat jumps onto the dresser and pawing the piss out of the mirror. Sounds kinda like a loose shutter in the middle of a G-4 tornado. Shush the cat off the dresser, and she’s back in five minutes, repeating the whole thing. Guess that means I have an alarm clock with fur . . . crap.

I pretty much live for weekends, for that one extra block of time that can recharge my whole damn week. How do your weekend mornings go? Anything spectacular or are yours more low-key? Do you use an alarm clock or just rely on the sun? And even though it’s just Tuesday, I can’t wait for a few extra hours next Saturday.

*Thank you iPhone . . . because I’m still not ready to sleep with my camera



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  1. joelynnej #
    March 20, 2012

    That second shot is killing me with amazingness. What kind of a fucking sadist do you have to be to have a Math alarm clock?!

    • Jill #
      March 20, 2012

      A sadist who can’t get her ass out of bed in the morning! You’d be surprised how fast I can skip count by 7 in order to go back to sleep for a few more minutes. And the trusty iPhone grabbed both the photos . . . it works when I use it šŸ™‚

  2. March 20, 2012

    i was thinking exactly what joelynne said.
    and even if the alarm is set for 7:00 am (which is rare for me, i ‘m hitting snooze at least twice. this morning i awoke to henry turning on our new favorite cartoon, ‘the mighty b’. so much better than waking to exponents.

    • Jill #
      March 20, 2012

      There were four levels of difficulty for the math alarm clock, and I never made it to the expert level. I *think* I tried it out once and had to take out the battery to shut the damn thing off. I’m all for snooze, but I like the odd number snoozes (like seven minutes) not the ten minutes wobber-jobber on the new alarm clock.

  3. Laura #
    March 20, 2012

    yes those curtains and that light…
    I’m a “snooze” champion.
    here’s to the weekend…

    • Jill #
      March 20, 2012

      I used to be so expert at figuring out how many minutes I could snooze and still make it downstairs on time, but now I only hit it once. Then again, I also have two alarm clocks . . . does that mean i still use it twice? Probably!

  4. March 21, 2012

    I have two small children… which is code for I’ve got alarm clocks with poop in their pants.

    • Jill #
      March 21, 2012

      I remember the days when the Girls were my alarm clock, too. Tables were turned when they were in junior high and I was theirs.

  5. lovelyember #
    March 22, 2012

    There’s no way I would ever, ever, ever have a math problem alarm clock. I would become way too angry too quickly, and I’m not even normally a grumpy morning person. I set an alarm on my phone- never sleep through it, hit snooze once, maybe twice if I’m just trying to convince myself to get up without having any particular reason, and then I get up. Once in a while our furball will do that mirror thing- but usually when the alarm goes off she just hops onto the bed, and if we’re not getting up she goes to back to sleep by our feet. I think mainly because she’s too lazy to do anything else.
    I don’t wake up unless I have an alarm set though, so even on the weekends I set it- otherwise I sleep the day away.

    • Jill #
      March 22, 2012

      Sadly, I just picked up another math alarm clock. When the “kitten” – and I use that term loosely – broke the last alarm clock, I bought a cheapy one that I have next to my bed. I would like to say that I don’t hit snooze, but just the fact that I had to buy another math alarm clock proves I am useless at that.

      Tomorrow will be the first morning with the new clock . . . should be interesting.

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