i have always loved the ‘freaks’, the deviants, the rule breakers. in high school it was the skaters with their shaved heads and mile high mohawks, shredded fish nets and knee-high doc martens… i pined to be one of them. me the pleaser, the cheerleader. i secretly longed to be weird, different, edgier. it never happened. closest i ever got to deviant behavior was my tattoos. oh and that time i got my nose pierced but then took it out because it never healed right. yeah livin’ on the edge people, that’s me. i did eventually wear docs, just not the knee-high ones, my deviancy had its limits. at age 40 i still love the freaks. i love to walk the streets and seek them out in my lens.
lucky for me i live near a fairly progressive hip little city. we have street fairs, which bring out all the street artists and street kids. I LOVE THEM. I can’t look away. I stalk them. pathetic. truly. now that spring is finally here there is sure to be more people and more skin. more skin = more tattoos. win win in my book.tattoos, piercings, pink purple green dreads, yes please! boots and fish nets, leather and lace, dreamy! i love shooting these mysterious strangers that seem to live life on the fringe. i imagine they hang out and read poetry, draw in journals, and play the ukulele at 4am. they live in cool flats with funky thrifted furniture with graffiti all over their walls that they change whenever they feel like it. they hang out in subways and art galleries. this is normal right? me, the mom, daydreaming of the lives of these cool kids. don’t answer that.
i guess a small part of me still longs to be in the club. i wonder what they think, mild middle-aged mom me, taking their photo. do they wish i would go away? or can they see my secret longing in my eyes. that rebel in me that never saw the light of day. i hope so, because each time i focus my lens on them, i am loving them in all their quirkiness. i should have been crazier bolder darker weirder…. i should have gotten that mohawk at 16, played the musical saw in a garage band named “hose water”… opportunities lost i guess. my wasted youth. 😉
yesterday i took my wanna-be deviant self and some cans of paint to a legal graffiti wall. yes legal, allowed, not very deviant when i put it that way. oh well, even legal it felt slightly naughty. for a few fleeting moments i got in touch with my inner bad girl. maybe i need to re-pierce my nose or work on that sleeve i’ve always wanted…. or maybe i should just go buy some more spray paint.