-Erika Ray

I asked to take the first post for October, and I have no idea why.  I’m all over the place with my opening post ideas and thoughts on the topic.  I guess that means I’m extremely passionate about it.  We decided that October was a fantastic month to write about Women.  I’m probably more excited about this month than any other month we’ve done.  I should be able to write a strong post about the reasons why we chose Women, but I can’t.

On one hand, I love our gender.  I strongly believe that if all women got some weird funky disease and died, the world would suffer and wither away.  Ever had a sick husband?  Mine was just sick so my nerves are still raw…  Ever watch a woman multi-task?  Yes you have.  And you were in awe.  Ever watch a man multi-task?  You probably jumped in to help.  It’s what we do.  We fix things.  We make the world spin.  We solve, comfort, nurture, tackle, and kick-ass all in a matter of minutes.

But on the other hand, I’m angry at our gender.  Why do we have to have an election that’s basically centered on women’s rights?  Why?  It’s 2012.  Women shouldn’t be a special interest group in 2012.  Women shouldn’t be an election talking point.  The environment or the economy are really good points to debate.  “The War on Woman” sickens me.  Unfortunately, in my opinion, it’s true.    I’m not about to debate the Right or Left in this opening post.  I’m disgusted that we have to have a discussion about women’s right.  Still.  It makes me sad and angry.  It makes me want to vomit that men are making these decisions.  Being an equal should have been hashed out decades ago.  But it hasn’t.  And part of me blames our gender.

We didn’t think we had to fight any longer.  Suffrage and the Gloria Steinem-likes took care of it for us.  Right?  We felt comfortable.  We could choose to work or stay-home.  We could drink a beer in public.  We could marry or just live with someone.  We were blindly equal.  All the while, we aren’t making the same wages.  We let the media suck us into Mommy Wars.  We allow woman to be portrayed as waif-ish sex objects.  Instead of being unified, we get mixed up with our differences and fight with each other.  All the while keeping up securely in a passenger seat of our own destiny.

This month will not be a month of us railing against the men.  We love men.  A lot.  This month will be about us celebrating Women.  Not passively, but passionately.  You will see why women must make positive changes for the next generation. As a loyal reader of O+U, you’ll end your October knowing something you already knew: women are badass.  But I’m also hoping that by the end of October, we can all agree that we need better representation.  We need more voices.  We need to be on equal footing.  We need to not accept an older woman’s, “It’s much better now than in my day.”  We need to say: Enough.  We need to point out that women aren’t cookie cutter and that’s fantastic.  We need to show the world just how amazing we are and how completely fucked they’d be without us.

So people should start being nicer to women…

We’re a force.  And we should start flexing.

Yes, they got it opened.

Because they worked together.

And they really wanted a mimosa.



Post a comment
  1. sidemtess #
    October 1, 2012

    ok, i am not one of those “older” women who are going to say it was better in my day. it sucked then. it sucks now. and it gets worse as women get older. we not only get treated poorly in business, we get treated poorly by the government. but before i get into being an older woman, let me just say this: how can any thinking person not see that it is insane that we are fighting for a women’s right to make a decision about an abortion? i don’t even LIKE the idea of an abortion, who the hell does, but it is none of my business why any other woman has to have one. NONE. and it should not be in the govenment’s hands either. stay the hell out of a woman’s vagina. so to speak.

    but back to the older woman’s issues. when you get older you will discover that you are invisible. there is some sort of shame associated with being older. i don’t know if men feel the same way. but i know that i could drop dead in front of some young guys and they would step over me. i don’t like feeling bitter, and i don’t really hold onto it for long, but it is there. it is sooo there that when someone does treat you courteously that it stands out like a beacon!!! oh wow, that person treated me like i am worthwhile!!!

    but it is not all doom and gloom. i am fortunate to have a whole slew of younger woman that treat me like i am a viable, intelligent and thriving person. that is really the point i am trying to make: we woman have to treat each other well, it has to start with us. And sometimes (and I do remember being younger) sometimes we aren’t able to be as supportive as we might be. It makes such a difference to have a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen and your friends rooting for you. i adore my husband and he is truly my best friend, but there is something so special about your girl friends.

    so i guess i am all over the place about my response. it’s just that if i could one statement about my own gender it would be: don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are not enough. you are. and then some

    • October 1, 2012

      Amen! Thanks, Linda for always being so honest! You know we all love you for it!

  2. maria bassemir #
    October 1, 2012

    That was great Linda. Thank you for sharing. I recently watched an older woman at my office get walked to her car on her last day. She decided to take an “early retirement” said the email that went around only moments early. She was crying as she wheeled out in her walker to her car. I knew deep down that it wasn’t an early retirement. My heart broke for her because although I am not a spring chicken, I am much younger than her and I really wanted to yell out, “take me, take me instead”, but of course I didn’t. Her worked had suffered a little but mostly it was the interruptions in her wok schedule that her medical issues had created. Had it been time off for children issues, I’m sure it would have been more acceptable by the managers. It is sad to get older but I do vow to stick together with my good friends because there isn’t anything quite as uplifting as a good friend.

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