by Carmen “Do I Have To?” Farrell

It should be no surprise to some of you that I had to get drunk to write this post.  My O+U ladies know that I’ve struggled with my writing here.  I was slated to write just one post for last month’s “women” theme and dropped the ball because I just couldn’t figure out what the hell to write about.  This month, it’s all about me.  And yet, I struggle.  I know myself well – and like myself quite a whole lot.  But to write about myself?  Hmmm.  Pass the wine.

I’ve come to understand that I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies.  I can totally do a large group.  I can absolutely schmooze for 8 hours straight and enjoy it.  But I’ll need a week and a half of quiet time to process it all and get back to my normal self.  I’m that person who asks you a ton of questions about yourself (my husband would even say that 75% of those questions are completely inappropriate).  I do that not only because I’m extremely interested in people’s experiences and what makes them tick, but it also keeps the focus on them, and not on me.  That’s how I like it.  I don’t LOVE talking about myself.  Not because I have self-esteem issues, but because  verbalizing who I am and what makes me tick is not something that appeals to me.  I’m the therapist, not the patient.  It’s how it’s always been.

Anyhow, I’m pushing through because I need to pull my weight at this web address.  The past few nights I’ve gone to bed brainstorming ideas for this post.  For the love of all that is holy, I tried to come up with an interesting hook or pleasing angle to approach this describing of who I am.  I wanted to do something other than  a list of things about me.  Several of my cohorts here have done that very well already and I didn’t want to simply be a copy-cat.  But you know what, I’d fall asleep before anything interesting came to me.  So suckers, here’s a list after all!

  • Gluten hates me.  It makes me feel all sorts of bad.  But I can’t shake it.  I’ll go weeks without it and then, suddenly, I’m inhaling a croissant and going off the rails big time.
  • I love cooking but hate baking.  I’m not crazy for eating baked goods either.  I’d happily take a sumptuous, savoury dish over a slice of cake any day.
  • If I could make love to a well-made gin and tonic, I would.  I just love them that much.
  • Tickling makes me ape-shit mad.  Try to tickle me and you’ll likely end up with my fist in your face.  Whether you’re my mom, or my 3 year old, it’s a ridiculous reflex. When I’m tickled, I instantly start punching.
  • I can’t help but insert a shit or fuck into sentences.  It’s just more interesting that way.  I once had a friend comment that swearing is just a sign of a lazy mind.  Well, fuck…I’ve got the laziest mind around.  And that’s just fine.
  • As a kid I lived beside a church that held wedding receptions in their basement every Saturday.  One Saturday I walked in back the door, pulled the fire alarm and ran like hell.  I still feel guilty, and slightly exhilarated.
  • I hate having my picture taken.  I’m not particularly photogenic and only come out looking that way in photos once in a blue moon.  That’s why you’re getting a couple of photos of me that are several years old.  Deal with it.

Above all else, I’m a kind-hearted, fun-loving chick.  I’m pretty sure that if I died today people would remember me fondly.  That’s good enough for me.



Post a comment
  1. November 13, 2012

    love this. enjoy getting to know you more, too. the photos are gorgeous, and i can totally relate to your words.

  2. angelahendrixpetry1973 #
    November 13, 2012

    i think you helped me to learn a little bit more about myself through your post about you! an introvert with extrovert tendencies ~ that’s so how i am. hot hell, that’s cool… 🙂 i think you’re darling, thank you for sharing. xo

  3. November 13, 2012

    i too would much rather cook than bake. and i’ll take a second helping of savory mussels over dessert anyday.
    and same here o the tickle reflex. growing up my mom was not ticklish at al.. not one freaking bit. so she thought it hilarious to sit on top of me and tickle me til i was in tears and so fucking mad i could spit… i have never grown out of it.

  4. November 14, 2012

    Lovely. Makes me feel better about my language choice and I really enjoyed your last paragraph. You sound like a person that is ‘together’ in all the right ways. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Becky #
    November 16, 2012

    This might be one of my favorites of the month so far. It feels so honest, and I can 100% relate to being the one who asks questions of others, though I truly appreciate someone who can ask good questions. Not many people even care to ask the questions in the first place.

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