by Carmen “Do I Have To?” Farrell
It should be no surprise to some of you that I had to get drunk to write this post. My O+U ladies know that I’ve struggled with my writing here. I was slated to write just one post for last month’s “women” theme and dropped the ball because I just couldn’t figure out what the hell to write about. This month, it’s all about me. And yet, I struggle. I know myself well – and like myself quite a whole lot. But to write about myself? Hmmm. Pass the wine.
I’ve come to understand that I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies. I can totally do a large group. I can absolutely schmooze for 8 hours straight and enjoy it. But I’ll need a week and a half of quiet time to process it all and get back to my normal self. I’m that person who asks you a ton of questions about yourself (my husband would even say that 75% of those questions are completely inappropriate). I do that not only because I’m extremely interested in people’s experiences and what makes them tick, but it also keeps the focus on them, and not on me. That’s how I like it. I don’t LOVE talking about myself. Not because I have self-esteem issues, but because verbalizing who I am and what makes me tick is not something that appeals to me. I’m the therapist, not the patient. It’s how it’s always been.
Anyhow, I’m pushing through because I need to pull my weight at this web address. The past few nights I’ve gone to bed brainstorming ideas for this post. For the love of all that is holy, I tried to come up with an interesting hook or pleasing angle to approach this describing of who I am. I wanted to do something other than a list of things about me. Several of my cohorts here have done that very well already and I didn’t want to simply be a copy-cat. But you know what, I’d fall asleep before anything interesting came to me. So suckers, here’s a list after all!
- Gluten hates me. It makes me feel all sorts of bad. But I can’t shake it. I’ll go weeks without it and then, suddenly, I’m inhaling a croissant and going off the rails big time.
- I love cooking but hate baking. I’m not crazy for eating baked goods either. I’d happily take a sumptuous, savoury dish over a slice of cake any day.
- If I could make love to a well-made gin and tonic, I would. I just love them that much.
- Tickling makes me ape-shit mad. Try to tickle me and you’ll likely end up with my fist in your face. Whether you’re my mom, or my 3 year old, it’s a ridiculous reflex. When I’m tickled, I instantly start punching.
- I can’t help but insert a shit or fuck into sentences. It’s just more interesting that way. I once had a friend comment that swearing is just a sign of a lazy mind. Well, fuck…I’ve got the laziest mind around. And that’s just fine.
- As a kid I lived beside a church that held wedding receptions in their basement every Saturday. One Saturday I walked in back the door, pulled the fire alarm and ran like hell. I still feel guilty, and slightly exhilarated.
- I hate having my picture taken. I’m not particularly photogenic and only come out looking that way in photos once in a blue moon. That’s why you’re getting a couple of photos of me that are several years old. Deal with it.
Above all else, I’m a kind-hearted, fun-loving chick. I’m pretty sure that if I died today people would remember me fondly. That’s good enough for me.